Sandip Das

12:30 PM, 15th Mar 2018

Best Discussion and Worse Discussion I Ever Had

I get inspired suddenly today, probably due to a discussion I had today, suddenly become nostalgic about the several discussions I had in past years and it's like a picture of those discussions floating around my mind, out of those discussions some were good / excellent, some were bad, some were worse than I could ever imagine, some were exceptionally inspirational & some were disappointing.

Before telling the best and worst discussion that I had, I would like to share what kind of discussions I had in my past days and what issues I faced and how I did overcome them with a belief that this will be beneficial for someone at some point of time. Below are the kind of discussion I had:

Good Start & Good End:

This kind of discussions I had most of them in past years, where you start to discuss with one or multiple person, everything goes well from beginning to end, a complete win-win situation, you get the clear idea and come to final absolute decisions. Here only suggestion / my personal observation is to keep the discussion on discussion topics and nothing else, listen carefully what everyone wants to say, don't interrupt others until necessary (ok! I even miss this one sometime but still I am growth oriented professional and I always improve myself :) ).

Good Start & Bad End:

By just point name you have already imagined what I am trying to say, it's a situation where the starting of discussion was good, but in between due to any reason discussion gone bad, mostly this happen either there is a communication issue between participants, or any of participant pre-planned to do so, or just things go off record i.e. not to the point anymore.

I had faced this kind of discussion many times as well and slowly learned to tackle such conditions, you will have many choices, out of which for me first option will be to try to understand the reason, if the reason is at all reasonable, then try to resolve it and try to make it positive again, if the reason is invalid or pointless then better stop the discussion as your precious time you should not waste on such discussions anymore.

These days people just get offended even if the words were not to offend, it's just to explain better but you can not change someone viewpoint if they were not willing to listen in the first place or sense of insecurity or sense of superiority already makes home in that person's mind, I personally never ever work or associate with such persons if I find so and obviously no more discussions.

Bad Start & Good End:

This kind of discussions are interesting one, where the discussion starts with problems, that's gone bad, and the discussions is about the bad part, this situation mostly messed up situation, probably angry eyes ;), I was in these kind of discussion here and then, well humans do errors and humans fix it, so in this situation everyone listen carefully the discussion topic and present views, suddenly solution pop-up in mind (that's interesting indeed :)), so we have the solution and discussion turns to good now.

Bad Start & Bad End:

Been in those few times, now I understand the pattern more or less, in this such discussions start with bad / very bad points, mostly nobody in the mood to listen, blame games go on, nobody allows another to take positive step, and obviously the discussion turns to a bad end.

Here doable is to try to understand and fix issue / source, if at all possible fix else if not solved no matter how much you try then better choice is just leave the discussion as this will only discourage you, so take other paths.

Inspirational:

I have in discussion with such inspirational personalities I feel fortunate enough and I love to work for them like I am doing now, those discussions mostly exactly on topic and they assign and inspire me to do so with utmost believe that I can do it with no hesitation and when I stuck we sit together in discussion and very quickly solutions come out.

I try to inspire others / help them in my own way, even if a single needed person gets benefited from it - I feel utmost happiness doing it. Even in this kind discussion there are high chances of getting misunderstood by others and if such happens best option I feel is to move on, well in reality everyone have their own choice let's respect that. Also, another thing to keep in mind if people start taking advantage of your kindness don't let them do it, have to be strict about these matters (saying from experience).

Let me provide you some memories of good discussions:

A Discussion With a Recruiter:

Typically I used to receive lots of mails/messages/calls from recruiters, and all seemed to me like generic & scripted, indeed boring. But one evening while I was coding ( :) like I always do) a Sr. Recruiter directly called me, I picked the call and after greetings started actual discussion, I remember that recruiter never goes off topic, carefully analyzed my profile and offered me such an irresistible abroad job opportunity I know I may regret for not considering such opportunity but I had to reject it as I was working on a project that I am very much interested in and not wanted to leave in mid way. But that's not the good discussion part I am trying to say, here it comes, after I had rejected the offer, the recruiter kindly asked me what was the reason I rejected the offer, what are the required condition needed to meet that would have made me accept it, since I am not considering offer at the moment than when I may start considering again and few more quick queries, and asked me if I would like to answer, so it was not forceful. Such an intelligent questioning can win any candidate. Finally, after cutting the call got personalized, beautifully crafted mail, for thanking me for my time and the discussion we had.

A Discussion with Fellow Developer:

I worked in the past and currently working with many talented professionals with same or different domains in multiple teams, and obviously we have lots of discussions.

I remember a bug fixing discussion with a developer, where the bug was critical and we have to fix it no matter what, now the embarrassing part (for me), I keep telling my fellow developer bug is in on his side and he is saying it's not possible, but I was forcing this on him as I didn't think it was my side error, we started at night and while finding this issue it's near morning, but he didn't find any issue in his side, I thought checking once again that code, upon carefully checking I found the bug was my side and tell my fellow developer.

Wait, then what's the good discussion part?

Was it the finding source of bug part? no (actually, yes but that's not the point here)

Was it telling my fellow developer, it's not his but my side issue, part ? no

Then what?

We laugh at ourselves, yup he just laughs and I, too, then fixed the bug updated codes in server, that's all, then again next day we have another discussion on other things perfectly normal, we take the good part and move on. I did learn the lesson.

A Discussion With A Stranger:

Stranger, yup a stranger, ok, to be more precise someone in LinkedIn messaged me, I could have been declined the message if it would not have been interesting, but It was interesting and I am glad that I was right, we did a discussion on skype.

We discussed nothing else but how we can both improve our skills and what to do next, I learned a few new things from him and got new exciting opportunities, So good part here that the call was just open discussions about web development but I got excellent opportunities.

The above are just a few out of many memories of mine, I just simply smile when I recall this discussion memories.

Memories of Bad Discussions:

Till above, I just discussed about good discussions, now let's talk about bad discussion memories.

A Discussion With a Recruiter:

A few year back, I get a job offer on LinkedIn for the post of the Mid level Web Developer, indeed job was looking excellent, but job description missing, I had started fully focusing on JavaScript Technologies, mainly Node.js at that time, so thought it's an excellent JavaScript Developer opportunity, the recruiter wanted my Skype id for discussion so I did provide the same.

The discussion started with explaining about company and facilities, package etc. , but I was most interested in the skills required in it, now when come to that part my eyebrows gone up, recruiter asking me to join a job where requirement was for Java development and not JavaScript application development, certainly blamed me for accepting interview, but I was the lost one, thought of javascript interview faced Java development related questions, even though it's bad discussion category but I still smile thinking of it.

A Discussion with a stranger:

One day person called me, and stated discussion about a project, mostly what are the features needed, and few advance stuffs, but this is not the bad part, I often discuss project ideas with others, even though we both know I have said that no availability so I will not join as a developer but could provide useful suggestions.

Wrong part was after discussion that person wanted to build that for free of cost, I just thought "really!!, such height of expectations", no professional will do the entire project for free, specially experienced developers. I asked that person to hire professionals, not only me, but any good developer will not do it for free. After that, no discussions with that person so far.

A discussion with someone who want improve development skills:

This was a good discussion turn into an annoying discussion, someone wanted to learn Node.js and wanted my mobile number so he can discuss a bit about it, I though he may really need help, so I had provided the number, now drama start, every single day for every single minor issue, he started calling me to discuss the issue which he could have googled to find solution, also although I asked him to master javascript first properly, ignored that and keep experimenting node.js, if he would have learned javascript well then he would have not called me for every single issue, as those were not really node.js functionality related, but was actually javascript related. After few weeks I had to block that number as it's becoming problem, while in important meeting that person also calling that time, I even removed my number from LinkedIn Contact info section for the same reason.

I think I discussed more than necessary required to explain my points, anyway, nothing going to loss to do it, so it's ok. I will come to main points now, yup the best & worst discussion I ever had.

Best Discussion:

This was an inspiration/guidance discussion in which I was thinking about what steps do next and someone suggested excellent paths, which in future proven to be exceptionally beneficial to me, I still think and thank to the person who sit in discussion with me and selflessly helped me because he was going to get nothing if he helped me but still help me in my profession in that time. I will add no reasoning behind it as it would be equal to disrespecting that person, I am just glad we met and he discussed even though he is such a busy person.

Worst Discussion:

This one is the discussion I don't want to recall, but while writing this I have to explain, many years back when I was still PHP developer, I received a LinkedIn message saying he is looking for new opportunities and wanted me to share some references, I told him that I have no custom PHP project available at that time, but working in multiple php framework based projects if he is interested than I can refer those, I don't really know where I really missed my point, but a whole new level of drama started, that person mailed me, messaged me on linkedin, facebook, mobile to know my clients name, email and phone numbers at that time, I just said him I will refer his profile to them and never share their personal / important info no matter what, and this makes him so angry, he said he will destroy my carrier and even death threat and all ridiculas stuff. I ultimately have to block him everywhere, after all better safe than sorry.

Conclusion:

Discussion could be any kind - good, bad, educational, inspirational, but I think at the end there is something to learn and improve myself, if I did something wrong, it will be my utmost priority how I can overcome in next discussions and prepare myself for the same, I will suggest the same to others who didn't face this kind of situations yet, you will soon face not the exactly same but similar situations time to time, I believe learning from mistakes and "keep improving no matter what" is the best policy for the same.

I wanted to keep it short but this article become bigger than I expected, but thanks for reading it in full.


I had originally published this in LinkedIn and thought of sharing here as well. 


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